


Pressed Lemon

by Pandemonia8



Category: Glee
Genre: Eventual Romance, F/F, Fluff and Angst, Teen Angst, Teen Pregnancy, Teen Romance
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-11-05
Updated: 2018-04-07
Packaged: 2019-01-29 15:16:15
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Underage
Chapters: 9
Words: 21,738
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12633756
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Pandemonia8/pseuds/Pandemonia8
Summary: Quinn Fabray was everything her parents had brought her up to be: beautiful, polite, successful, ambitious, athletic and intelligent. She would never do anything to disgrace her family or their community. Until... she meets a girl that will change everything for her...In her search to who she really is, Quinn's faith is tested and her world is turned upside down. Will she have the courage to go after the things that make her happy or will she sacrifice everything to keep her family happy?Pressed Lemon is a story about self-discovery, change and believing in yourself.





	1. New Beginnings

**Author's Note:**

> A/N: Hello dear reader, I wrote this story back in 2013. I rediscovered it recently and decided to post it here. Hope you enjoy it! You're more than welcome to give me your thoughts.  
> I don't own anything, except for the original characters.

**_Sweet fourteens are the best!_** Quinn thought to herself, almost immediately admitting that her Sweet Sixteen would be even better but that was still 2 years away. Being the daughter of wealthy parents meant she had to indulge in social status enhancing get-togethers, throwing their daughter a sweet fourteen party was the perfect opportunity to show the rest of Lima that they had the means to not only spoil the youngest Fabray with lots of luxurious gifts but also to throw a party for her and her friends (of course also inviting their parents for a party of their own).

Quinn understood they didn’t really throw the party to show her how much they cared but she was familiar with her parents not being the most caring type so it almost didn’t hurt as much as it used to. Being a Fabray meant to always uphold yourself with certain flair, she was taught from a very young age that there was no place for real emotions; people didn’t care how you felt, so when in public never show sentiment apart from hospitability. They had made sure Quinn was as charismatic as she could be, undoubtedly resulting in lots and lots of friends. Their daughter had to be as popular as them, in order not to damage _their_ reputation.

Her parents had been taking her to church every Sunday since she was able to walk, to ensure she would earn her spot in heaven for when her time came, also - Quinn knew - to prove they were a devoted Catholic family. In addition they threw numerous ‘parties’ for friends and neighbors - there wasn’t a single member of upper-class Lima that hadn’t been to the Fabray residence. All these things established the Fabrays’ social status even more, so no one ever questioned them. The Fabrays’ will was law, in Lima Ohio at least.

Quinn finished putting the last invitation in its envelope when her mother told her it was time to go. She grabbed the stack of envelopes of her desk, swung her bag over her shoulder and bolted down the stairs, skipping towards her mother’s car. She placed a kiss on her mother’s cheek before putting her seatbelt on and enjoying the almost silent ride to school.

"Do you have all your invitations, dear?", her mother asked, never taking her eyes off the road.

"Yeah, they are all here.", she answered smiling anxiously, although she was one of the most popular girls in school handing out invitations always made her a bit nervous. But not the bad ‘I think I might throw up’ kind, more like the ‘giddy feeling in stomach’ kind.

When the car stopped in front of the school, she got out quickly and glanced around almost immediately spotting her best friends. Santana and Brittany were waiting for her on the stairs leading up to the entrance. She waved and almost skipped towards them, then remembered that wasn’t cool enough therefore she settled on walking up to them instead.

"Hi S, hi B!" she said smiling widely.

"Hi Q!", they said in unison, spending a lot of time together had that effect on people Quinn acknowledged.

"Look what I have…", she said handing them an envelope. Brittany accepted the envelope but gave her a confused look. "What’s wrong, Britt?"

"How come the mailman knows where you live but doesn’t know where I live? He even knows we are friends… that’s weird.", she said with an even face.

"Um… it’s not from the mailman, it’s from me.", Quinn answered without mocking Brittany, by now she was familiar with the fact that Brittany sometimes lived in her own special world.

"A letter from Quinn Fabray, yes!", Brittany shouted all but tearing the envelope to shreds, handing the invitation to Santana to read it for her.

"It says that Q invites us to her Sweet Fourteen, B. You think we should go?", Santana asked her with a sly grin, loving nothing more than to tease Quinn.

"I don’t know…", Brittany said looking like she was really contemplating whether she wanted to go or not. "Last time we went to a party at Q’s it was kinda fun, wasn’t it?"

"Sure, sure…" Santana countered "But it was also kinda lame, with the stupid games and stuff and no making out whatsoever…"

Quinn blushed a nice shade of deep red; surprised she was the only one blushing at the remark. "Hey, be nice. Besides what do you know about making out anyway?",’ the blonde whined, playfully swatting Santana’s arm.

"Thanks to you and your lame parties, no-thing!" Santana replied, emphasizing the last word. When she noted that Quinn‘s blush deepened, she decided to lay off the teasing… for now. "I’m just joking, Q. Your parties are epic! So who’s invited besides me and Britt-Britt?"

Quinn gave the names of all the classmates cool enough to be invited; Santana wasn’t really surprised by any of the names. She knew Quinn had to make a list of the friends she wanted to invite for her parents to approve, only with their consent could she write invitations, and this gave Santana an idea.

"You met the new exchange student, right? Maybe you should invite her as well, just to piss off your mother." Santana offered with a casual tone, although there was a mischievous glint in her eyes.

For the umpteenth time that morning Quinn felt a blush creep over her cheeks, cause this time: the new exchange student...

XOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOX

_It was Monday; Quinn was walking alone towards her locker because she hadn’t been lucky enough to encounter either Santana or Brittany. Thinking they were probably doing whatever it was those two did when they were alone, she decided not to wait and gather her books for 1st period. Her mother had just informed her that morning that she was supposed to have a Sweet Fourteen, she could invite up to 13 friends. Her mother wanted a list of their names by that evening, to check if they were good enough to attend. Of course that was not the explanation Judy gave her daughter, she had opted to say it was to give her a chance to invite their parents for a little get-together while their children were upstairs ‘partying’. Quinn knew better, but didn’t comment on it. She almost never did._

_So she had stuff to think about, she already knew most of the people she wanted to invite, since it was supposed to be a small party with a sleepover afterwards she wasn’t allowed to invite boys, not that she minded very much. The boys in her class weren’t interesting enough to invite anyway. They were at an age where most of the girls were taller and frankly more mature than the boys, the only thing the boys did was drool all over the ‘pretty’ girls and talk about stupid stuff. Sometimes they even played stupid games… a waste of time if you asked Quinn._

_While thinking of which of her friends would be lucky enough to receive an invitation, she wasn’t paying attention on her way to her locker and bumped into someone, sending the other individual on their way to the floor. Just in time Quinn grabbed their arm and pulled them upright, their bodies pressed too close to each other. The girl, Quinn noticed, was staring at her own chest which made Quinn’s gaze shift to see what the girl was staring at. Apparently the “arm” Quinn had grabbed wasn’t so much an arm, in fact she had the girl’s shirt in a firm grip. She could feel the other girl’s breasts against her hand beneath said shirt, as if struck by lightning Quinn released the girl and looked at her face. Slowly the girl’s gaze shifted from her chest area to Quinn’s eyes, a soft smile little by little forming on her features._

_They were still standing impossibly close to one another, but neither seemed to notice or care. Quinn was too busy watching the smiling face in front of her: it was a beautiful face, very symmetric with big brown orbs - if you looked deeply enough into them they could swallow you whole - brown messy shoulder length hair, a smile that could melt down the entire South Pole, white perfectly even teeth, full reddish pink lips… Deep within her belly Quinn felt something, something she had never experienced before and couldn’t tell what it was, but she didn’t want the feeling to end, ever._

_Quinn’s gaze traveled slowly over the girl’s tiny frame taking in her wardrobe, she was wearing worn-out chucks, a faded skinny jeans and a plaid flannel shirt with a T-shirt underneath._

_The smaller girl coughed lightly to get Quinn’s attention, "Hi, I normally opt for another form of introduction but this works as well I guess…" When Quinn remained as motionless and speechless as before, the girl took a small step back and reached for Quinn’s right hand in a greeting gesture, "My name is Emily Johnson and you are?"_

_Quinn looked down at their joined hands and couldn’t help but notice how small and soft Emily’s hands were, the feeling inside her intensified. She looked back up to Emily’s face, not releasing her hand, and noted a smirk forming on her lips. It was in that moment that Quinn realized what her behavior would have looked like to the other girl, so she cleared her head enough to form a coherent sentence, "Hi, my name is…um…Qu..Quinn…" or so she thought._

_Emily chuckled softly at the other girl’s stuttering and gave her a sweet smile, "Okay, Qu-Quinn, nice to meet you, I’m new here so I was wondering if you could show me around?"_

_When Quinn heard Emily mocking her lightheartedly she remembered who she was supposed to be and that wasn’t a stuttering idiot that was mesmerized by this new girl. Normally people were mesmerized by her. They were still holding hands, which was way past conventional for greeting someone you didn’t know. But either this girl hadn’t noticed or she was much better in dealing with mesmerizing people - or people being mesmerized by her - than Quinn was…_

_Quinn pulled her hand back gently and opened her mouth, praying to God that she would sound as eloquent as she normally did. "I’m sorry I was a bit shaken from our collision, let me start again… My name is Quinn Fabray, nice to meet you. And to answer your question yes you may tag along, I’ll show you all there is." S_

_he gave the girl a confident smile and started to explain how to open the lockers and showed her the classrooms she was supposed to be in that morning. Quinn still couldn’t explain what she had felt earlier, but she knew it was a good thing, it had to be. So she decided to ignore it for the time being, trying to befriend this nice girl._

XOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOX

"Maybe I could, mom would be seriously pissed off… first of all she doesn’t know Emily nor her parents and secondly her tomboyish looks will certainly give her a heart attack.", Quinn said as casually as she could - what Santana didn’t have to know was that Quinn had already written an invitation for Emily; secretly hoping she would get some kind of approval from her best friend without actually giving this small piece of information away.

Santana chuckled at the vision of Judy Fabray’s reaction to this new girl that immediately popped into her head, of course she wasn’t stupid nor blind, she had also noticed Quinn’s own reactions to what’s-her-face. Santana was sure even Brittany had noted the chemistry between those two, for the time being however she decided not to comment on that, praying silently the girl would show up and not only because she wanted to see Judy’s reaction…

A plan was already forming in Santana’s head…


	2. Playing Games

The invitations said ‘casual wear’ so Quinn was glad to see that all her friends had abided by her request, the same could not be said for their parents… Quinn had literally rolled her eyes when the first of her parents’ guests arrived dressed in their finest evening attire.

Quinn sent up a small thank you that Emily had arrived a bit later than the others, so her parents were too preoccupied to notice this stranger walk into their house.

All the girls were in Quinn’s room, overnight bags put neatly away next to their mattresses, which were assembled around Quinn’s bed. They were drinking non-alcoholic beverages and sharing embarrassing stories about themselves, apart from Santana who was sharing embarrassing stories about everybody except herself. They all knew better than to call her out on it, so they listened and laughed - or blushed when it was a story about them. Occasionally they got up and danced their asses off to the music blasting from the stereo, one of the perks of living in a mansion, Quinn didn’t hear her parents’ party and they didn’t hear hers.

While Santana was having a really good time, spent mostly embarrassing others, she was paying close attention to Quinn and Emily and not one look or touch went unnoticed. Because there were no boys, the girls “slow-danced” with each other and after one of those slow-dances, which Quinn and Emily had been enjoying a bit too much in Santana’s opinion, she decided to up her game. "Okay, girls can I have your attention, please!" Santana shouted while standing in the middle of Quinn’s queen-size bed, the girls quickly gathered around her, anticipation written all over their faces.

"As much as I’ve enjoyed our little gathering I think it’s time to discuss some of the more important things in life…", she started, trailing off making sure everyone was paying attention to her, only continuing when she was sure they were, "…like making out."

Some of the girls looked way too eager, others were giggling like the little schoolgirls they were, but Quinn was appalled that Santana was bringing up this topic of conversation… again. As a good Catholic she was taught that some things weren’t talked about with… well, with anybody besides your spouse. Nevertheless if she was honest with herself she had to admit that she was as curious to find out what Santana knew about making out as the others were.

"Raise your hand when you haven’t made out yet." Santana went on, ignoring Quinn’s facial reactions.

The entire group watched each other while all of them slowly, a bit shyly even, raised their hands. All of them except for Santana and Brittany who kept their hands down and smiled at each other. Quinn was the first to react, "How come you two aren’t raising your hands? You don’t have boyfriends!"

Santana opened her mouth, but Brittany beat her to it. "We make out with each other all the time!" she said enthusiastically.

This also made some of the girls blush and it was April who spoke out first, "What? But you’re both girls… that doesn’t count! It’s not real or anything."

"Who cares if it’s real, as long as you practice… how will you be able to kiss a boy properly when you haven’t practiced. You think he’s going to want you when you aren’t much of a kisser, ha!" Santana said laughing at April’s remark.

The girl considered Santana’s reply, and so did some of the others. Now it was Jenny’s turn to say something, "Maybe…Santana has a point… how will we know what to do?"

Quinn did not particularly like this turn of the conversation, she knew Santana too well to assume this was an innocent remark of a clueless girl. Clueless was not a word she would use when describing Santana, far from it actually. Santana was her dearest friend so she had always known Santana was unique. The girl had always seemed more mature than her peers, she knew things girls their age shouldn’t be talking about yet and this whole thing was some sort of a Santana plan. Which were never innocent …

"Isn’t the fact that you don’t know what you’re doing the whole point of a first kiss, it’s special because you haven’t kissed anyone before, that way you can remember it for the rest of your life…"

Santana shot Quinn a look, smirk firmly in check, "Kissing a girl just for the sake of practicing isn’t what I’d call special. It’s just fun, an experiment if you want… it doesn’t count as a first kiss unless…", smirking harder for good measurement, "unless you have feelings for girls." Santana’s words didn’t miss their effect, Quinn’s face turned several shades of red but she was determined not to act on her discomfort.

None of the other girls seemed to know what was going on, except for Emily, she had spent a lot of time in Quinn’s company for the last two weeks and she had felt the tension between them as well. She on the other hand wasn’t as clueless about what was going on as Quinn. She had known since elementary school that boys didn’t interest her as much as girls did. Her parents had also openly discussed this with her and although they supported their daughter they had also told her that she was still young and shouldn’t be limiting herself just yet.

She put her hand on Quinn’s thigh softly trying to get her attention away from Santana. A small gasp escaped Quinn’s lips. The rest of the group was talking among themselves, mostly asking Brittany all kinds of questions about making out with a girl, ignoring whatever was going on between Quinn and Santana. Quinn turned towards Emily still blushing, although her demeanor remained unchanged. Emily said, "Maybe she has a point, what’s the worst that could happen, right?"

This however did create a slight change in Quinn’s appearance; she wasn’t entirely sure what the girl’s real intentions were. She might act a bit oblivious sometimes but Quinn was neither stupid nor naive. After the initial shock of their meeting had faded away, she had looked upon the entire thing more rationally and she had come to realize she had a crush on the new girl. But having a crush on someone you barely knew was pretty shallow in Quinn’s opinion, so she'd spent the following days almost entirely in the company of Emily, to get to know her. Well, the more she got to know her, the harder she was falling for her.

It was her first crush, so she wasn’t entirely sure what all of this really meant, but she knew it went deeper than just friendship and now her first crush was saying she wanted to make out with her, just to know what it was like. Quinn was confused, she really wanted to believe she had heard exactly what she thought she had heard but she didn’t want to make the mistake of forcing herself on Emily so she just sat there, watching her intensely.

Santana had had enough of all the sappy ogling, "Earth to Quinn and Emily, does this mean you two are gonna “practice” on each other?" she asked literally making air marks with her fingers. When both girls slightly nodded, she was thrown between asking everybody’s attention and just watching this display by herself. She chose the latter, "Then what are you waiting for?"

Quinn was still watching Emily, who was also intensely watching Quinn. They heard Santana in the background but couldn’t tear their eyes away from each other. Suddenly everything around them faded away, as if they were the only ones there. Quinn had never been kissed before; her heart rate amplified and she became more nervous with every passing second. She licked her lips unconsciously before biting down on her bottom lip. They inched closer to each other until they were so close they could feel each other’s breath. Emily closed the distance by softly capturing Quinn’s lips with her own. The warm soft feeling of Emily’s lips on hers sent electricity through Quinn’s entire body; her heart was beating dangerously fast almost beating right out of her chest. Not long after both girls were lost in the kiss, for Quinn it was magical. It was exactly as she had imagined a first kiss should be.

Santana was gladly watching the two girls making out, especially since she understood that this wasn’t just an experiment, this went way deeper and when both girls were still kissing 4 minutes later, she decided to end it before the others would start to notice how deep this kiss really was. She coughed a couple of times but when that didn’t get their attention, she forcefully pulled them away from each other while saying softly, "I guess you both liked that as much as I did, but enough is enough! Quinn, snap out of it! You have a party to host or should we all just leave and let you two at it…"

Quinn, whose heart was still beating rather fast, was sorry the kiss was already over knowing all too well that she would remember it for the rest of her life. This was not good however… this meant she really had deeper feelings for… a girl. Hadn’t her parents always told her that that was unnatural, that it was a sin against nature? Although she had enjoyed the sensation of being kissed by Emily she was equally conflicted as to what it meant. But she would deal with that later, Santana was right she had a party to host.

Giving Emily a tender smile, she returned her attention to Santana and said in a cool, unaffected voice, "Happy now? You were right kissing a girl is excellent practice for later on." She turned her attention back to her friends, who surprisingly hadn’t seen anything. Some of them were busy trying to make out with each other, but ended up laughing their heads off the moment they came too close.

Everybody was having the best time and Santana was right about one more thing, Quinn Fabray parties were epic!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hope you enjoyed this chapter as well :-). I plan to update this story weekly but the first 3 chapters will be posted a little faster.


	3. Forbidden Feelings

It was weekend, but that didn’t mean Quinn had time to relax: she had gym practice, her parents were throwing a dinner party for some of their closest friends and she had to go to church. On top of that her book report was due on Monday and she had to write a paper for History. But she wasn’t complaining, she enjoyed having lots of things to do. When you were doing stuff you apparently didn’t have much time to think and that was exactly what Quinn was avoiding…

Ever since her first kiss - um the kiss she had shared with Emily - she had all those confusing emotions she didn’t really know how to deal with. She tried talking to Santana but of course the girl shut down completely making up lame excuses to get as far away from Quinn as she could. That was one of the things she really disliked about Santana, she was the one that had brought up the whole kissing thing in the first place because she had some kind of hunch about Quinn’s feelings for Emily but now she refused to talk about it.

Quinn had tried with Brittany but that wasn’t really helpful either because according to her denying your feelings for someone of the same sex was just a convention religion had made-up so their followers would produce more offspring. That was all she had to share on the topic, that and if we weren’t supposed to be attracted to women why had God made them so beautiful. It really wasn’t useful.

But she truly needed to talk to someone who could actually help her, someone who could at least tell her what she was supposed to do about those feelings. She had considered talking to her parents but she realized that wasn’t a very good option, although Quinn adored her parents they weren’t big talkers especially not about emotional stuff. She could talk to them about politics, the news heck even the weather but nothing of a personal matter was ever discussed in the Fabray household.

"Good morning, dear." She heard her mother’s friendly voice behind her, but it took her a couple of moments to return the greeting which made her mother furrow her brow in question, "Is something wrong, Quinnie?"

Quinn thought she actually sounded concerned; maybe she should try telling her mother… maybe she could try from a different angle, "Good morning, mom. Nothing’s wrong. I was just thinking…"

Her mother gave her a small smile before asking, "What were you thinking about, honey?"

Quinn was surprised her mother was seemingly interested in what she was thinking about, "Well, there is this girl in school and she’s actually a good friend of mine. We were talking the other day about… stuff you know… and she told me she had all those feelings for…" Quinn paused observing her mother’s face closely, so far she was still engaged in the conversation so Quinn continued, "…another girl." That last word was uttered so softly her mother barely understood her.

Her mother’s expression changed completely, from warm and engaged in small talk with her daughter to stern and closed off. Her lips pressed together rather tightly as if she was hearing something really disgusting. Quinn immediately regretted talking to her mother about it. "And who might this friend be?" Quinn remained silent not really knowing whose name she should say, so her mother continued, "Is it one of your close friends?" meaning ‘do I know her parents’ Quinn understood without her mother actually articulating it.

Quinn decided to drop the matter, but before she was able to stand up and walk away from her mother a hand was placed on her arm, efficiently keeping her right where she was. "If it is, you really have to tell me, Quinnie. I have to discuss this with her parents so they are able to rectify this situation."

Quinn had heard enough but her mother wasn’t done yet, "Maybe you shouldn’t be interacting with this girl for a while, until she’s sorted out that is."

"But mom, nothing is wrong with her, she’s still the same girl I’ve always known." Wrong approach…

"No she is most definitely NOT. Girls don’t have feeling for other girls; you must realize at this age that it’s a sin! I will not have my daughter mingling with a sinner! Think of our reputation, Quinn. What will our friends from church say?" Judy’s words cut like a razor-sharp blade, making Quinn wish her mother would just shut up, clearly Judy didn’t realize what effect her words were having on her daughter, "I know these great reform programs for people like that, our own church has one, if you could just tell me her name then I could talk to her parents, she won’t even know it came from you… I will tell them I saw her doing unspeakable things in public with another girl."

Quinn felt tears welling in her eyes, with all her might she kept them at bay, because her mother although oblivious to the effect her words were having would immediately understand Quinn was talking about herself if she were to cry. "I’m sorry mom, but I’m afraid we can’t help her. You don’t know her parents; in fact she’s just a nobody. You’re right, I will not speak to her again." Quinn lied, swallowing back her tears.

"Good girl. Spoken like a real Fabray.", her mother said proudly, placing a kiss on top of her head. Quinn went back to her room; from the moment she was out of sight tears were streaming down her face. She fell on top of her bed and wept until she had no more tears to shed.

XOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOX

The conversation with her mother hadn’t helped at all; Quinn was even more confused than before. Every time she thought about Emily she felt dirty, it felt wrong. But that didn’t make the feelings go away… Quinn also acknowledged that she had had the same thoughts as her mother, about it being a sin and not being right. She had always believed homosexuals were just heterosexuals who hadn’t found Mr. or Mrs. Right yet and therefore settled on less.

No matter what she believed she had feelings for someone of the same sex and she knew they were real. Of course she was still young, she wasn’t planning on marrying Emily or anything. She was sure it wasn’t love either, she had barely lived how could she know anything about love? Not one thought made it clear what she was supposed to do with this situation. Maybe she should try to enroll in one of those reform courses; that would straighten her out.

The ringtone of her cell phone brought her out of her reverie. Looking at the small screen she saw a text from no other than the object of her affection.

_**Hi, you’ve been kinda down lately. Wanna talk about it? XoX** _

_**Dunno, I’m just a bit confused is all. -Q** _

**_Talking might help… you wanna meet?_ **

**_Sure, could you come over? -Q_ **

**_No prob, be there in 10. CU_ **

Quinn smiled at her phone, no matter how hard she tried to ignore Emily; she couldn’t deny she was happy whenever she heard from the brunette. Her parents were out of the house anyway so it wouldn't harm anyone if she had a friend over. Maybe Emily could help her sort out this mess…

Thirty minutes later the girls were lying on Quinn’s bed, facing each other. Quinn had just told Emily about the conversation with her mother and in doing so had admitted she had more than friendly feelings for her friend. Emily had been honest herself and had told Quinn she was feeling the same. Nothing more needed to be said, they just enjoyed each other’s company for the time being. Quinn could get lost in those bright shining orbs, feeling absolutely safe and cared for.

In fact she was so lost in them and in the sensations the other girl’s hand was eliciting from her arm, she hadn’t heard her parents get home. They had called her name a couple of times and when there came no answer her mother was starting to worry. She went straight to Quinn’s room. Upon entering the scene on Quinn’s bed she said calmly, "Is this the girl you were talking about?"

Quinn jumped from her bed in terror; she knew what it must have looked like. "Hi mom…", she tried to say as if nothing was wrong, failing miserably she realized when her voice came out much higher than she had ever heard it. "No, this is not the girl I was talking about?"

Her mother’s eyes narrowed, not entirely believing what her daughter was saying. She looked back at the girl; if that was what you could call her judging on what she was wearing… if her hair would have been shorter she could have easily been mistaken for a boy Judy thought. Without acknowledging the brunette she said, "Maybe it’s time you asked…"

"Emily Johnson.", Quinn provided.

"Emily to leave so you can get ready for this evening?" And although her mother sounded friendly, Quinn knew better… she was in for a rough evening.

"Sure, mom, thanks for the reminder.", Quinn offered politely, not wanting her mother to make a scene about what she had just witnessed. Emily clearly understood as well as Quinn that the woman in front of her was only feigning kindness; she said a quick goodbye to Quinn wishing her a silent good luck before bolting from the room.

"We WILL talk about this later.", Judy said, leaving no room for discussion, before turning around and also leaving Quinn’s room.

XOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOX

When Quinn arrived at school that Monday, she saw Santana and Brittany but Emily wasn’t with them. She walked up to where they were sitting and after greeting them asked, "Have you seen Emily?"

Brittany gave her shoes an intent stare as if she had just realized she was wearing them, Santana looked apologetic at Quinn before offering, "I thought you knew…" she said sincerely.

"Knew what?", but somehow Santana didn’t really have to say it, the pieces fell into place rapidly. Her mother’s calm demeanor later that Saturday when asking again if that was the girl Quinn had spoken of. Quinn had denied it and thought she had explained it quite well to her mother that they weren’t doing anything wrong that she was comforting the girl because she had her heart broken by her boyfriend. She had been so sure…

"She was transferred back to her old school, apparently there was something wrong with her father’s paperwork, so he wasn’t able to work in Lima anymore...", Santana explained sympathetically. Quinn hadn’t told her anything about what had happened but she had a pretty good idea what had gone down.

Tears were streaming down Quinn’s face, the words she had been dreading to hear, the words she almost immediately knew were going to be spoken by Santana were out. She had never cried in front of the girl before, but she couldn’t hold back, tears streamed freely. Santana quickly pulled the weeping girl into a hug.

That explained why she hadn’t received one text from Emily since the girl had left her house, Quinn had blamed it on her phone she would talk to her when she saw her in school but that couldn’t be further from the truth…

Her heart was broken.


	4. Heartache & Parties

Days turned into weeks and weeks into months and all this time Quinn felt as if a part of her was missing, she had never been unhappier in her entire life. Day in day out she had this pain in her chest area, you could compare it to the pain one feels when they were diagnosed with severe bronchitis, it made breathing rather difficult and painful. She had lost some weight because since that Monday months ago she hadn’t once been hungry. Of course she had eaten, her parents would have forced it down her throat themselves if she had refused to eat.

She only ate a minimum at best, but nobody seemed to notice. Not once had her parents talked about Emily Johnson or the fact there was something mysteriously wrong with the paperwork. Quinn just knew they had something to do with it, but neither one acknowledged this fact. Her mother hadn’t spoken about Emily at all. That hurt Quinn even more; she wished they would at least be honest with her and tell her why they had felt the need to remove the girl from her life.

At school nobody noticed the pain Quinn was in either, simply because she didn’t show it. Her grades were higher than before Emily; she excelled at gym – which had earned her a word of advice from the one and only Sue Sylvester, coach of the Cheerios. Sue Sylvester had mentioned maybe it was a good idea she should try out for the cheerleading squad next year. Quinn was more popular than ever before; she had befriended some of the Cheerios and jocks, all of them older of course, which was always a good popularity boost.

She hadn’t talked about how she really felt with anybody – not even Santana or Brittany, she had written everything down in her diary which she kept hidden so well that if she were to die, she was sure still no one would find it. Thankfully she had decided to write in it every evening or she would have gone stir crazy by now from all the conflicting emotions raging through her: smiling when actually she would rather be crying, working harder for school when she would rather not go to school at all, being social when all she wanted was to be left alone, …

To help her figure out what her feelings had meant; she had enrolled in Sunday school, where she could focus on Christian doctrine and Bible study. Quinn actually liked this, because devotion helped her sort herself out. After all this time she understood that she was meant to be hurting because she had sinned, this was her redemption. The feelings she had had were misplaced, probably because puberty is a very confusing phase in a teenager’s life. She understood fully that she would outgrow them and when the time was right, she would develop these feelings for a boy.

XOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOX

"Hi Q, you know what would make next weekend perfect?", Santana asked enthusiastically.

"Nope…", Quinn replied shrugging.

"A party!" Brittany as usually couldn’t contain her own enthusiasm, she was jumping up and down from excitement oblivious to the evil glare Santana was throwing her.

"Thanks, Brit. Nice way to ruin the moment!", Santana grumbled.

"You’re welcome." Brittany offered brightly, engulfing Santana in a hug. Quinn saw the Latina's anger evaporate rapidly, making her smile. She loved these two; they were so much fun to observe with their strange behaviorisms.

"A party? Where and when? How come you always know these things anyway?"

"Q, never you mind where and how I get my information, just know that I always provide." Santana told her earnestly. "You know Puck right? He’s on the football team, well his mother is out of town and he’s throwing a little house party."

"Sounds like fun, but aren’t we too young to attend those kinds of parties?"

Santana shot Quinn a glare so fierce she wished she had remained silent. Slowly she rolled her eyes and said, "Of course we are too young, but who cares? You only live once, right? Besides I am all for fun and house parties are as fun as fun gets."

"But what about my parents?"

Again this deserved her a glare and rolling of the eyes. "What are you twelve? And do not even try to answer that question or I’ll smack you all the way to your next birthday!" she paused to make sure Quinn wasn’t answering the question, which was clearly rhetorical, "You tell them you sleep over at my place, which is not a lie because after the party we’re going to crash there."

Quinn thought about it, she wasn’t entirely sure this party was a good idea, definitely not when you knew what kind of boy Noah Puckerman was. He might be in the same grade as them but she just knew the boy was at least one year older, if not more. Otherwise he was the male version of Santana and also more mature than his peers. He was rather tall and muscular for his age; he didn’t look like a 14-year-old schoolboy at all. If she had to guess his age based on his looks she’d say he was 15 or 16 at least.

The same could not be said for his behavior, he might act all tough and knowing, but he was as intelligent as a vegetable. He liked to bully everyone who wasn’t a beautiful girl or a guy on the football team, he also liked to throw parties at which he could serve alcoholic beverages, but most of all he liked to talk about his sexual experiences. Quinn didn’t know nor did she care if these stories were based on his own experience or on things he had seen in pornographic movies. The boy had his shortcomings but all in all Quinn liked him, he was handsome and funny and dare she admit it… sexy. "Sounds like a plan!" she said excitedly; earning her a smile from Santana and a hug from Brittany.

XOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOX

_Worst idea ever!_ This was all Quinn was thinking upon viewing the scene in front of her. All over the living room, bathroom, kitchen even the hallways were people dancing wildly because of the amount of alcohol they had in their system, some were already lying blacked out on the floor, couch, coffee table, … It was crazy! Never had she experienced something like this and she had been in the company of drunken people on several of her parents’ parties but never had they gotten this out of hand. At least not as long as she was in the room…

Carefully trotting through the room in search of soda or some other nonalcoholic drink, she saw Santana and Brittany dancing their asses off to the music, clearly having much more fun than she was having. Both girls were as sober as she was however they didn’t care about all the drunken people around them. Walking into Puck’s kitchen, she spotted the boy mixing drinks at the counter.

"Hi hot mama!" he greeted her drunkenly, "Are we having fun or what!" It was more a statement than a question, so Quinn nodded in agreement. "You need anything, holla okay." He offered with a wink.

"Actually I’m looking for something without alcohol in it."

He gave her a strange look, not really understanding why anyone would choose a soda over one of his fine cocktails. "You sure I don’t have to make you one of these?", he said gesturing to the cocktails he was currently brewing.

"No thank you, I’m sure they are great but I don’t drink alcohol." she replied friendly.

"Okay, maybe a little later then… I think there’s some soda in that cabinet behind you." He pointed at said cabinet and added, "Did anyone ever tell you, you have the most beautiful smile?" And by smile he meant ass, but he knew better than to be crude to a girl like Quinn.

"Thank you." Quinn replied blushing.

Walking back to her friends, soda in hand, Quinn was still smiling from the compliment Puck had given her. It was the first time - in a long time - she felt something other than pain, she felt… she didn’t have a word to describe what she felt exactly nevertheless it was a nice feeling.

"You scored or something?", Santana asked her with a mischievous grin.

"S, do you always have to be so graphical? I’m just enjoying myself."

"Yeah yeah whatever… all I’m seeing is you looking all dull and bored before you went to the kitchen and smiling and blushing when you came out… makes a girl wonder ya know." Santana loved to be graphical just to tease Quinn who was kind of prudish in Santana’s book.

"Nothing happened, just talked to Puck for a while, he’s really nice." The smile currently plastered on her face grew bigger.

"Puck and Quinn are sitting in a tree K-I-S-something-something-G", Brittany sang proudly, turning to Santana she exclaimed, "I remembered 4 letters, did you hear?"

Santana smiled proudly to Brittany and gave her a kiss on the cheek whispering, "You are the best, Britt! 4 letters means 4 kisses later on when we are alone…"

"Knock it off you two! I did NOT kiss Puck!" Quinn was having enough of the teasing, maybe she wouldn’t mind kissing Puck but that was not something she was willing to share yet.

"Did someone holla my name?" Came a low voice behind Quinn but before she got the chance to explain anything Santana said, "We were just grilling Q here about how good a kisser you are."

A sly smile appeared on his face looking at Quinn but speaking to Santana, "And what did she say?"

"That she doesn’t remember because she was still in a trance…" Santana didn’t think there was anything in life she enjoyed more than embarrassing people.

Quinn was torn between blushing deeply and shooting Santana an evil look; therefore she just stood there with a strange expression on her face. One that made Santana burst out laughing. Puck placed his hand softly on Quinn’s face; rubbing her cheek with his thumb and when she looked at him he brought his face closer to hers. "Tell your friend how it was, okay." With that he brought his lips down on Quinn’s, it took a moment before her brain registered what was happening. For the second time in her life she experienced being kissed, this kiss however was completely different from the last, the lips on hers were slightly rougher and more demanding, and also they had a clear taste of alcohol. A shiver ran down her spine, although she didn’t know what had produced it. Most definitely the fact this was a real kiss, one that _counted_ she figured. When Puck pulled back from it, Quinn’s eyes remained closed for a moment longer.

She was not damaged, there was nothing wrong with her, she had just kissed a boy and she had enjoyed every second of it! A smile spread over her just kissed lips and she opened her eyes slowly, focusing on Santana she said, "Well, Puck’s a great kisser!"

Puck said winking, "If you want more, you know where to find me."

Quinn sighed happily. It had been nice, but she wasn’t planning on dating Puck…

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Quinn has a very narrow way of looking at things which is not how I see the world... I also want to say that I mean no disrespect when I mention Quinn's church but it's a very conservative community her parents are part of and therefore Quinn adopts the same views about life and love.  
> I hope you liked this short chapter... let me know :-) Next chapter Rachel will be introduced, don't worry ;-)


	5. New Friends

_She was not damaged; there was nothing wrong with her…_ Quinn had believed her own statement but the fact was that even months later she still hadn’t met the ‘right’ guy and was still single. Her friends, even Santana and Brittany, had all started dating guys. Sometimes it worked out but mostly it didn’t, but at least they were experimenting with the whole idea.

Quinn just didn’t find a guy she could put up with long enough to start a meaningful conversation with; she even wondered if it was at all possible to have a meaningful conversation with a boy. Yes she had been ‘attracted’ - if you can really call it that - to Puck but dating him wasn’t really a good idea. Of course Quinn knew what kind of guy he was, he wasn’t reliable or trustworthy, and those being qualities Quinn searched for in a life partner. Even if she was still in high school and not planning on marrying her first high school sweetheart, she was looking for a valuable mate. Some called it stupid, others naïve, some romantic but most found it weird. As Santana had put it ‘if the vibe is right, the rest will follow’, but Quinn wasn’t a big believer of that theory.

She didn’t care what others thought about her single status, because being unattainable had one major advantage: every single boy wanted to have her. They saw her as a conquest, because nobody had been lucky enough to chase the good-looking popular girl. This resulted in hundreds of love confession, date offers, even presents being placed in front of her locker. All of this made Quinn’s popularity status go through the roof. She loved this more than the prospect of dating a boy… Most girls envied her, but not the hateful kind but in a looking up to her kind of way, as a result the amount of Quinn‘s friends had doubled in a couple of months.

Her parents were very proud! Not only was their daughter a perfect example of a good Christian girl when it came to boys, she was also well liked as a person in their community adding to _their_ popularity as well. Quinn had noticed they were proud because of the gifts she’d received without it being a holiday or her birthday. Not that she minded nor complained, she was glad her parents noticed this without the need to be told (as opposed to most events in her life).

In addition all of this helped Quinn with her psychological problems, of course she didn’t completely forget about Emily but the pain was much less and the thoughts about the cute brunette lessened as well, making it bearable to think about her without the grief she had been feeling for so long. She was getting better day by day; her smile was almost reaching her eyes again. It felt good to be coming back.

The last year of Middle School ended rather quickly and uneventful, but Quinn was happy it did. This meant she had the entire summer to prep herself for the Cheerios tryout, something she looked forward to ever since Coach Sylvester had mentioned it. Santana and Brittany were equally looking forward to it, of course they would all tryout and secretly they hoped they would all get in together so their little trinity wouldn’t be broken.

Prepping herself for the Cheerios involved a new healthy and party-free diet, a strict training routine involving 7 am runs to improve her stamina, gym practice 3 times a week to improve her athleticism and flexibility and power training 2 times a week to improve her strength. Santana and Brittany joined her for most of these trainings but not for the 7 am run, Santana wasn’t much of a morning person so Quinn didn’t really ask them. She knew Brittany would be all enthusiastic and because Santana couldn’t deny the girl anything they would have joined her. But a bitchy Santana was one thing, a bitchy Santana in the morning was an entirely different thing, apart from Brittany most people ended up crying - or worse… it was stated that some people even considered suicide - within half an hour in her presence. Quinn decided she could best go alone, besides she needed some alone time.

It was during one of those runs that something unexpected happened… unexpected but not unwanted. Quinn was running through an almost empty park, when she encountered what she assumed were some soon-to-be seniors ‘walking’ home from a party. When they saw her, even though she was dressed in sweats and a hoodie, they decided to call out to her. Quinn never went on a run without music so she didn’t quite make out what they were saying but judging by the signs they were making with their hands it was something about her beauty. Quinn was flattered; she looked back at them smiling but kept running away from them.

Until she collided with something, falling over ‘it’ and landing on top of not a thing but a person, Quinn could just in time stop their heads from bumping against each other by putting a hand on either side of the tiny person she had landed on. Their faces inches from each other, she had a clear view of big brown eyes and brown hair, a beautiful tan face, … For a moment Quinn had some sense of a déjà-vu and was tempted to pull the other one into a hug but decided that would probably scare the shit out of the girl beneath her.

Without standing up, Quinn pulled back a little to get a better look of the girl and although she didn’t know her, it felt like she kind of recognized this girl. Which was weird, she couldn’t remember ever meeting her or did she… The smaller girl was smiling at her also with a look of recognition on her face. So Quinn uttered the most cliché line in history, "Sorry for landing on top of you… but do I know you? You look familiar."

The brunette chuckled before replying, "That was pretty lame… but actually we do know each other. I mean we haven’t officially met or anything and this wouldn’t be how I pictured talking to you for the first time but we go to the same school. We’re even in the same year, so yeah we might have met at school without realizing. I’m Rachel Berry."

Quinn instantly felt guilty, the girl might look familiar yet Quinn couldn’t remember ever seeing her at school. "I’m Quinn Fabray."

"Oh, I know." Rachel said with a wink.

"Oh," was Quinn’s reply a tad bit surprised and feeling even guiltier.

The other girl picked up on the blonde’s uneasiness and offered, "Don’t beat yourself up about it, of course I would know the name of the most popular girl at school but I don’t mind the fact that you haven’t noticed me, I’m one of those invisible people I guess."

Quinn did feel better about this, but not much. Rachel seemed like such an enjoyable person and she was beautiful too Quinn noticed. They were still lying on top of each other and although neither girl was uncomfortable, it wasn’t really appropriate to lie on top of a person you didn’t know. So reluctantly Quinn got to her feet extending a hand to help Rachel up. She even helped her brushing the dirt off of her all the while apologizing for tackling her.

Rachel just smiled, really not minding, "Things like that happen, it’s no biggie. Besides being topped by such a desirable girl like yourself isn’t really that bad. I bet hundreds of people would die envious of me were they to find out."

Somehow not the words themselves but the flirty way in which they were uttered made Quinn’s cheeks heat up. She looked away briefly, trying to masquerade her shyness. _What the_ … Quinn Fabray should not be affected by the words of an inferior person, certainly not a girl’s… she scolded herself! Thinking of the look on her parents’ face would they have witnessed this.

"Are you blushing?" Rachel asked coyly. "I’m flattered.", she added sincerely.

Where did this girl come from? Quinn certainly admired her boldness, no one that knew who she was had had the guts to flirt this openly with her except for Puck, but he was all kinds of badass so that was to be expected. However, Quinn didn’t like to be flustered so she tried to recover the situation and be on top again… figuratively of course. "Don’t be, I blame it on the fact that I feel guilty about what happened earlier combined with the fact you apparently do recognize me while I have absolutely no idea who you are… Your words don’t really affect me that way." She said confidently, a bit too harsh actually.

"I’m sorry, I didn’t mean anything by it. I just have a tendency to flirt with people when I’m uncomfortable." Rachel apologized, apparently Quinn didn’t like being flirted with by a girl.

"You don’t have to apologize, now I feel like a bitch."

"Well, you tried to act like one…"

Quinn shot the tiny girl a glare so fierce she almost winced making her regret she had spoken, but Rachel wasn’t the kind of person to back down just because the person in front of her felt superior over her. "Don’t give me that look, you know you were. I don’t fear you and you can’t impress me with your attitude. I have two gay dads, I look ‘exotic’ and I’m tiny I have been bullied my entire life and you are too nice to be a bully so don’t offend me by trying to pretend you’re someone else than you actually are."

Quinn was really taken aback; this girl had never before spoken with her though she seemed to know a great deal about her. She was clearly able to read her like an open book, not even her mother was able to do that. Quinn was so sure no one could see her for who she really was. "Do you have some kind of special power? No one has ever been able to read me like this."

Rachel laughed, "No I don’t have a _special_ power, or maybe now thinking about it, maybe I do. If by special power you mean being able to see people for who they really are no matter what they portray themselves to be then maybe yes I do have one. But I guess it’s just because I want to be a Broadway actress in the future and I’ve been obsessed with acting since I was 2 years old, seeing other people trying to act and not doing a good job at it, is one of my many talents."

This girl was really weird, but she was also honest and pleasant so Quinn decided to talk to her some more. Well, she missed practice that afternoon, because she had spent the entire morning and a big part of the afternoon talking to Rachel. It seemed strange; it was so natural talking to Rachel as if they had known each other their entire lives. In a way they had because Lima was the size of a peanut and they had both lived there since birth, they only lived a couple of blocks away from each other so they had also gone to the same schools when they were younger.

Neither girl noticed the time they had spent together until Quinn’s cell started blaring, picking up without bothering to look at the caller ID, she heard the angry voice of one Santana Lopez, "Q, where the fuck are you? Britt and I are worried sick! You missed practice so we thought you were unwell but your parents said you weren’t home…"

Quinn interrupted her, "Sorry S, I am in the park for my run."

"Yeah? That must be one hell of a run, what are you planning on? Competing in a marathon? Nobody goes for a run for 6 hours!!!" She all but shouted at the blonde.

"6 hours?" Quinn was confused, she looked at her watch and for the first time became aware of the fact she had been at the park the entire time talking to Rachel. She cursed under her breath; how was she going to get out of this one… "Um… I… um… well, this… um…" Apparently she had no idea.

"How very eloquent of you! That’s the best explanation anyone has ever offered me, even Lord Tubbington has better vocabulary! God, Q, if you are this embarrassed I wonder what you have been up to…" Santana was slowly losing her patience, scratch that she was losing her temper she was never patient to begin with. She was really worried something might have happened to her best friend but that friend clearly didn’t care.

"Calm down, please. I’m sorry, I went for a run and met someone in the park and we just started talking. Do you want to meet?"

Santana’s mood suddenly changed, "You met someone and spent 6 hours talking to them. Of course I want to meet, so you can tell me all about it."

This was not what Quinn had implied, but she knew better than to try to get out of it. They decided to meet at Quinn’s in half an hour.

Quinn put her phone in her pocket and turned her attention back to Rachel, "I’m sorry about that, but apparently we have been here a while and people are starting to worry. I have to go." She said apologetic, starting to walk away but not before turning back and saying, "I really enjoyed this, see you here tomorrow morning?"

"Sure, as long as you don’t run me over." Rachel said waving Quinn goodbye.

"I’ll try to remember."

…

Quinn had almost told Santana the entire truth about the person she had spent 6 hours with. Though she had said it was a girl and that they went to school together, she didn’t tell Santana who it was. She had convinced Santana she didn’t know her so she would stop asking the girl’s name. Which Santana eventually did, nonetheless reluctantly. Brittany was happy that Quinn had made a new friend, she was already looking forward to meeting this girl, but Quinn wasn’t convinced they would ever get to meet Rachel. She wasn’t ready to share her…

 


	6. New Meetings & Old Games

Sure enough every morning from then on Quinn met Rachel at the park at 7 and went for a 2 hour run, afterwards they went for breakfast together and enjoyed each other’s company talking about everything and nothing. They became very good friends, making Quinn regret that they hadn’t met all those years ago. Rachel was a very interesting person, she had lots and lots of things to tell and Quinn could listen to her for hours on end which was a good thing because Rachel liked talking for hours on end, in that aspect they were kind of compatible.

Quinn was Rachel’s first real friend, she had met a couple of people in the various clubs she was part of but none were as fascinating as Quinn. And apart from her fathers Rachel had never met someone who willingly listened to her. She liked to talk, especially about herself, not that she was self-absorbed (okay maybe a little) but she had had a lot of experiences in her life and she had never anyone to tell them to. Quinn at least seemed to care about them, genuinely.

The summer didn’t last forever though and all good things had to end… Quinn knew that when school started they wouldn’t be able to go for a run and breakfast before their lessons started. She didn’t know with the Cheerios and schoolwork if she would be able to go for a run on weekends either. She’d never realized how short a summer break really was.

Two days before school started the alumni-parents and the school board would meet, because a lot of her friends’ parents were alumni too and attended the same meeting Quinn threw a little party for them, this year she would invite someone new… Rachel’s fathers were alumni themselves so they would also be at the meeting, which meant Quinn had the perfect excuse to ask her. As if she needed an excuse to invite someone to her own party...

Rachel had been very surprised when Quinn had asked her, yet she had immediately agreed to come, finding it super exciting. The memory of Rachel’s bright smile brought a smile to Quinn’s face; she had to admit the girl was super cute when she was excited. _Girls can find other girls cute without it being wrong, isn’t it? Sure, it is_ …

Quinn had prepared all kinds of snacks and drinks; she was placing everything in her room when the doorbell rang. She bounded down the stairs and opened her door expecting to greet Santana and Brittany but instead was looking at a glowing Rachel. Quinn couldn’t help but smile _again_ ; Rachel’s bright face and shining eyes had a tendency to elicit smiles from Quinn. Quinn didn’t mind, she was happy to be the cause of Rachel’s cheerfulness.

She invited the smaller girl into her house, ignoring the expression of awe on her face. Most people looked like that when they set foot in the Fabray Residence for the first time; Quinn didn’t really care although it made her a bit self-conscious so she chose to ignore it. Grabbing Rachel by the hand, she pulled her up the stairs towards her bedroom, not giving her the chance to see much of the house. The awe-expression didn’t diminish once in Quinn’s bedroom however.

"Cut that out, it’s just a bedroom."

"What you call a bedroom, I call a ballroom…", Rachel replied.

Quinn sighed and rolled her eyes, not wanting to discuss this any further. She just watched while Rachel was taking in the room. Rachel walked over to the snack area and looked even more in awe.

"What’s so special about the snacks?"

"Did you make them…yourself?" Rachel asked still watching them.

"Of course I did, why? Are you surprised a girl like me knows how to cook?" Quinn asked gently.

"No, that’s not it… Are these snacks vegan-friendly?" Rachel asked hesitantly.

"Sure they are, you’re a vegan aren’t you, I’m an excellent hostess you know, none of my guests leave hungry or thirsty." Quinn said proudly.

"But…they’re _all_ vegan-friendly, aren’t they? Are all of the guests vegans?"

"No, but non-vegans can eat them too, can’t they?" Quinn wasn’t really understanding what Rachel was getting at. "Rachel, use your words, because I honestly don’t understand what you’re getting at."

Rachel turned around walking towards Quinn, stopping in front of her and placing the softest kiss on her cheek. "Thank you, I might have told you once… if I remember correctly it was the very first time we went for breakfast when you asked if I wanted eggs. I told you I didn’t eat eggs because I was a vegan, that was the only time it ever came up still you cared enough about it to make vegan-friendly snacks just because I’m one of your guests. You are definitely an excellent hostess!" Rachel was so happy she pulled Quinn into a hug.

Quinn, who was blushing because of what Rachel had said and because of the kiss, hadn’t really given it much thought. She knew Rachel was a vegan; Rachel was one of her guests so the snacks had to be vegan-friendly. It was as simple as that. Or so Quinn thought, because holding the other girl in her arms and feeling her body against her own gave Quinn a warm feeling, one that started somewhere in the pit of her stomach and spread through her rapidly, warming her entire body.

The sensations going through her body shocked her a little, but somehow she didn’t have the strength to pull back just yet. When the bell rang for the second time that evening she had to, this time it were Santana and Brittany. Quinn walked down the stairs at a slower pace, upon realizing she hadn’t told any of her friends Rachel would also be there she suddenly grew rather nervous.

She took one last breath before opening the door, greeting a smiling Santana and Brittany. She smiled back and tried calmly to greet them, failing miserably apparently because Santana almost snapped, "She’s here, isn’t she?"

Quinn’s only response was a small smile. "Then move! I HAVE to meet this girl!" Santana proclaimed pushing Quinn out of her way, running up the stairs to her room. When she was halfway up the stairs Quinn caught up with her, realizing she had to protect Rachel from Santana for some reason. Not that she was really as vicious as she portrayed herself to be, but somehow Quinn knew Santana was going to grill the girl and she didn’t feel comfortable with that. _What am I really afraid of? Never mind now, first keep S from getting to Rachel without me present._

Quinn made it to her room before Santana or Brittany did; she stood in front of her door watching Santana with pleading eyes, "Play nice?" it was something between a request and a statement. All her fears were confirmed when she saw the playful smirk gracing Santana’s features, "As I always do…"

Quinn opened her door, but didn’t look directly at Rachel, gazing at the floor she said, "Rachel, meet Santana and Brittany my best friends!" _I hope that didn’t sound as nervous as I thought it sounded…_

"Hi, Rachel!" Santana said keenly, extending one hand towards the tiny girl. "Santana."

Rachel took the hand and shook it. She expected the taller blonde to do the same but when she turned her attention towards Brittany she was enveloped by two arms before she could even make out the girl’s features. "I’m Brittany." She said completely unnecessary. "I want to be your friend; I’ve been looking forward to this moment since…" Brittany stepped back from the hug trying to remember how long but eventually settled on, "like forever!"

This comment made Rachel blush, she wasn’t used to people this eager to be around her. Apart from Quinn she didn’t know anyone who was even remotely interested in her however this girl, beautiful girl Rachel added when she looked at Brittany a bit better, clearly was. "I’m happy you want to be my friend, I love having more…" Rachel offered Brittany.

This scored her huge points with Santana who had noticed how Brittany’s face lit up because of what Rachel had said. Santana was always afraid people might take Brittany’s comments and actions the wrong way but apparently Rachel was intelligent enough to realize Brittany was very special and she had treated her genuinely without thinking she was weird.

Santana looked at Quinn and smiled in approval, silently telling her Rachel was okay in her opinion. The girls started talking about school and their summer experiences, just small talk. When more friends had arrived Quinn started the music and the girls sang along and danced, basically having a blast.

Santana had made it her own personal mission to watch Rachel and her interaction with Quinn more closely and vice versa. Since the day Quinn had missed practice she was curious about this girl. For as long as she’d known Q she had never known the girl to be late for anything or not show up somewhere without at least telling someone where she was or why she was hindered to come. Something was up… but watching the two of them interact shed a whole new light on the situation. The entire evening Quinn had been aware of where Rachel was in the room, when Rachel hadn’t been close to her, she had looked for her unconsciously; Santana was convinced Quinn didn’t realize this.

Quinn almost watched Rachel’s every move, when the brunette was eating her self-made _vegan_ snacks and clearly enjoyed their deliciousness Quinn had smiled to no one in particular, looking the happiest Santana had seen her since Emily had left. When Rachel was in conversation with Brittany laughing her cute little head off, Quinn started laughing as well even though she had no reason to because nothing humorous was being said to her. Quinn was smiling A LOT whenever she watched Rachel being happy, but that wasn’t what had shocked Santana…

What had made it clear that Quinn was falling for yet another girl was the fact when Rachel was dancing Quinn removed herself from conversation with some lame excuse to refill drinks or snack trays but instead just moved to a secluded area of her room not once taking her eyes of Rachel. She was slowly watching the brunette from head to toe moving to the beats, while her face showed more an intrigued smirk instead of its usual happy-smile. When Quinn bit her bottom lip again without realizing this, Santana’s eyes flew wide open _Quinn Fabray was attracted to Rachel Berry!!!_

Quinn however, wasn’t the only girl she had been watching… Rachel showed some similar signs of more than just-friends-feelings. She, as well, was always instinctively aware of where Quinn was, she was also smiling a lot when she saw the blonde smile and although Santana hadn’t seen her looking at Quinn while she was dancing, therefore hadn’t seen Quinn’s kind of reaction on her, she considered Rachel loved those little snacks a bit too much. Okay they were great but nobody looked like they were eating the most delicious dish ever like Berry did every single time she put one in her mouth.

An idea formed in her head, maybe she could get the girls to kiss… last time she attempted this it made fireworks explode. She knew Quinn would be a lot more careful in showing her affection towards Rachel whenever her parents were home. They could always go to Rachel’s; her dads _were_ gay weren’t they… Anyway all of that wasn’t important if Quinn’s parents decided not to deal with it then so be it, it was not like they could get the Berries to move out of Lima they were not _that_ powerful!

Santana moved closer to Quinn and said in a low voice, "Maybe we should play spin the bottle?"

Quinn’s drink shot up her windpipe making her cough violently, Rachel who was standing almost at the other end of the room came running to her rescue. _Interesting_ Santana mused. "Are you okay?" Rachel asked when Quinn had finally stopped coughing and was more or less able to breathe normally.

"Yeah, thanks…" Quinn momentarily got lost in Rachel’s big caring eyes.

"What happened?"

"I was just asking our girl here…"

Before Santana could utter another word, Quinn interrupted maybe a bit too loud and high-pitched, "If we could go for a swim in our indoor swimming pool…" She continued in a much calmer voice, "It has to be cleaned from time to time making the chlorine levels too unhealthy to swim in so we should go and check it out, don’t we Santana?" Without giving the Latina a chance to answer she yanked her out of the room, once outside and out of earshot she pushed Santana into a wall, "What. The…" she said angrily, having no real idea why she was this mad. "What were you thinking?"

Santana laughed dryly, rolling her eyes before replying extremely calm, "Why are you this windup? I asked you a simple question, didn’t I?"

Quinn thought about it and realized Santana was right, she could have been joking but Quinn somehow had choked on her drink causing an unnecessary scene. "But why? I mean… we’re all girls, do you _not_ remember my birthday party, it didn’t work out…"

"For them it didn’t, but I remember one blonde girl in particular who was causing fireworks to ignite with the way she was kissing one hot brunette. Don’t even try to tell me I’m remembering it wrong or whatever… because Q, you and I both know it happened, we both know how devastated you were when she moved away and now I see you, yet again with another brunette, fair enough a completely different kind of girl than Emily but still... I see the smile on your face, the sparkle in your eyes, the way you hang on every word she says, the way you _look_ at her… you should’ve seen your face when she was dancing! Phew, you might not be ready to even think about sex but I swear to God you looked like…"

"Santana, stop!" Quinn said threateningly, realizing the other girl was about to say more than she was ready to hear. _She was kidding, right? No, exaggerating that’s it. Right?_

"Come on, Quinn don’t be this ignorant! I won’t say what I was about to, but please admit if not to me than certainly to yourself that you have feelings for this girl, again a girl… " Santana didn’t sound repulsed or accusing or anything negative, she was just concerned that Quinn was compromising her own happiness for that of everyone else, beginning with her parents.

Her words didn’t miss their effect, upon hearing the words been spoken all her thoughts and feelings resurfaced. She realized almost instantly that Santana was right, although those thoughts and feelings had been in her subconscious mind all this time, she had repressed them so hard she hadn’t really thought about it. But now, she didn’t have a choice in the matter, Santana had brutally forced all these feelings out.

She knew she was falling for Rachel, she knew these were feelings she hadn’t had in her entire life not even her feelings for Emily could compare, she knew all of this but Rachel was a girl, it was _not_ right. She couldn’t be a sinner, she couldn’t be the disobedient girl that didn’t care for her parents or their feelings, she just couldn’t…

"Santana, if you so much as repeat one syllable of what you have just told me to anyone, I swear to God, living in Lima will become your biggest nightmare." The words were spoken so viciously and Quinn’s eyes looked so grim that Santana dared nothing else but to say, "I won’t, I promise."

XOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOX

Her phone lit up for the 20th time that day but she didn’t need to look at it to know who was texting her… Rachel Berry. Even thinking her name pained her beyond words, all the same Quinn couldn’t deal with her right now. She had tried to ignore her feelings, when she discovered she couldn’t she decided to ignore Rachel entirely.

Rachel of course had no idea what she had done wrong making her text the blonde insistently but Quinn couldn’t explain to her what was going on, she couldn’t even come up with a convincing lie without giving her feelings away. This was so frustrating because she was hurting the person she cared deeply for because she was caring so deeply for that person but didn’t want anyone to know this, except for Santana because she of course had to figure it out.

She got up from her bed getting sick of her own confusing reasoning, literally getting sick… she made it just in time to her toilet and threw up until her stomach was empty and hurting from all the dry heaving. This had to stop! She could always talk to Santana but that would be even more confusing because she would act all supporting and stuff but honestly Quinn wasn’t looking for a relationship with a girl. The only plausible thing that could come from this was a long-lasting friendship, but how? She knew she would get pissed the moment Rachel would fall for someone else.

This was messed up, she was messed up! God! Even He didn’t help! Maybe she should consider therapy, the kind not related to her church. Her parents would never agree though and she didn’t earn her own money, so as long as she needed her parents’ that was no option either. Maybe she shouldn’t hurt Rachel in the process; the girl wasn’t to blame for anything anyway.

She grabbed her phone and started reading the texts.

R- **_Hi Quinn, you were awfully quiet before I left… everything okay? Did Santana have anything to do with it? She might be tougher than me but I would sort her out if I have to. XO_** _6:13am_

R- **_You are still asleep…damn! Hope I didn’t wake you. CU in a few anyway… XO_** _6:24am_

R- **_Quinn, where are you? Is everything okay? Waiting for you at the park… XO_** _7:08am_

R- **_Okay, now I’m seriously worried! Went for a run ... alone_** ** _:-(_** ** _XO_** _9:02am_

R- **_… Did I do something wrong? XO_** _9:57am_

R- **_I’m being selfish, maybe you are ill… here I am thinking about how I’m feeling without considering you might have come down with something. If you wake up, can you please let me know something? Hope my texts aren’t bothering you! Get well! XO_** _10:16am_

R- **_Missing you though_** ** _:-(_** **_! I seriously hope nothing is wrong… XO_** _10:22am_

The texts went on like that for another five hours, Rachel was getting more and more frustrated, desperate and worried. Quinn’s cheeks were wet with tears streaming down them, she was a bad person. When reading Rachel’s last text, she started crying even harder, making her choke on her own tears.

R- **_I thought we were friends, but somehow I messed up. I honestly don’t know what I did wrong… but friends don’t just ignore each other when something is awry. I really enjoyed the time we spent together and with school starting soon I had hoped we could have had our final run for god knows how long… I just want…I don’t know what I want. Bye Quinn, see you around somewhere…or not_** ** _:-(_** _3:41pm_

Quinn seriously hated herself right now. She had to make this right, she just had to figure out what she could respond without making herself look like even more of an ass or without giving away why she had been ignoring the girl. She started typing a text but deleted it almost instantly, repeating the same action like a million times before finally settling on.

Q- **_Rachel, I am so sorry for hurting you! That was never my intension… please believe me. I want to be a good friend but… I can’t. And I can’t explain why, this is so frustrating. I am so VERY VERY sorry!_**

She was still an ass, no doubt about that. But nothing she would say would hurt the brunette any less, she hoped Rachel would understand and leave it at that. Her phone buzzed almost instantly after sending the text.

R- **_This is all you have to offer? I can’t believe I could be so wrong about you?! Fine, have it your way! I won’t bother you again…_**

Q- **_Please don’t do this…_**

R- **_Do what? Tell you what you want to hear! You are the one that is ignoring me, you are the one that chose to hurt me like this, you are the one that doesn’t want us to be friends. So don’t you dare blame me for this!_**

Q- **_I am not blaming you, but please don’t be mad. I can’t handle you being mad at me._**

R- **_What were you expecting? Honestly? That I would tell you that I understand and am happy and that it doesn’t bother me at all. Have you any idea what I’ve been through today!!! I have called every hospital in Lima and surrounding cities to check if you were admitted at any of them. I called the police for damn sake… but yeah I am happy about your text, I am happy you chose NOT to talk to me, NOT to be my FRIEND! Seriously?_**

Quinn was lost; she had no idea what it must have been like for Rachel. She hadn’t considered the consequences of not answering at all; she hadn’t thought the other girl could be this worried. She prayed she could just die right now, she didn’t deserve to live!

Q- **_I don’t deserve you as a friend. I am the biggest ass I know… I am so stupid, so selfish, so unworthy of your friendship. Know that you are the greatest person I have ever met. For what it’s worth…_**

R- **_Yes you are all those things! And you might not deserve my friendship after what you put me through today but please let me make my own decisions! I am perfectly capable of choosing my friends all by myself. I can decide whether they’re worthy or not. I chose you as a friend and although you messed up big time today, that doesn’t mean I just forget everything and don’t want anything to do with you anymore, at least I care…_**

Q- **_I care as well._**

R- **_Strange way of showing it, don’t you think?_**

Quinn was still crying although her eyes were all cried out making it hurt a lot, but she didn’t care she deserved to be hurting physically as well as psychologically.

Q- **_Would you give me another chance, if I begged for it?_**

R- **_I would consider…_**

Q- **_I am BEGGING you please please please let me make it up to you? I don’t want to be this person._**

The response didn’t come as fast as the previous ones, making Quinn start to worry she might have screwed up permanently.

R- **_You may try._**

Although she knew Rachel was serious and she knew she would have to be very serious in her attempt to make it up to her, she smiled slightly at the prospect of getting a chance to redeem herself. Quinn had some serious groveling to do!

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for reading :-)


	7. Becoming a Cheerio

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> First of all my sincerest apologies for the delay... Hope you enjoy this chapter as well.

Quinn woke up pretty early the next day; she rubbed the last remnants of sleep from her eyes before jumping out of bed heading for the shower. After a satisfying shower she got dressed quickly and had a light but healthy breakfast. She was nervous and excited because it was tryout day for the Cheerios! Her nerves kept her from feeling hungry but she needed the extra energy to perform.

Her mom was watching her proudly, as if she already knew Quinn would soon be part of the cheerleading squad. She kissed her daughter lovingly and the two got emerged in some morning small talk. Shortly after finishing her breakfast she was driven to school by her mother.

The closer they got to William McKinley High School the more nervous Quinn became, not only because of the tryout but also because of her meeting with Rachel. She had tried hard to make it up to her in the few hours she had left of yesterday and although they were on speaking terms again, she was still not sure she had mended all the blown-up bridges.

Getting out of the car she spotted Rachel sitting on the stairs in front of the entrance, there were only a few students walking about because it was unearthly early for most of them; that meant no Santana or Brittany. They didn’t even know of the meeting or the fight for that matter, Quinn wanted to keep it that way.

She smiled at Rachel and was glad when she received a smile back, although it didn’t reach her eyes completely, it was more a polite smile. She walked over to the brunette and they started talking about school stuff and the tryout and everything, they had decided the day before not to bring up the fight again. For the time being they would work on their friendship and do friend-stuff, friendly banter being one of those things.

Half an hour later they saw Santana and Brittany making their way through the crowd that had materialized in front of the building walking to the bench Quinn and Rachel were sitting on. The girls greeted each other and Santana told them about the text she had received from April informing her about the long queue that had formed in front of the gym. Although the Cheerios was an invitation only kind of extracurricular activity all girls had to be tested by Coach Sylvester, they needed to show they were worthy of being a Cheerio. Good looks just weren’t enough… and having friend’s in the right place either, she didn’t always trust her Cheerios with the invites that was why she ultimately chose which girls made it to team and which didn’t. Only a few were lucky enough to be invited by Coach Sylvester herself, but still she wanted to make sure she picked the right ones.

XOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOX

Quinn was waiting outside the gym, two pompoms in her hands, her heart beating right out of her chest. She felt like throwing up, wetting herself and fainting all at once. She had never been this nervous in her entire life, it wasn’t exactly a nice feeling either. She had memorized the routine she was going to do and had practiced it over a hundred times this summer, perfecting it, but she couldn’t remember anything. It was all gone, had all been for nothing.

She was the last one before lunch, this being the only positive thing because that meant she was alone in the waiting area. She couldn’t bear to be around other nervous girls… She looked at the clock noticing it was almost time; she took deep encouraging breaths in order to calm those raging nerves. She repeated this action a couple of times, trying to forget where she was and strangely enough it was helping.

However she failed to notice the small figure that was approaching her, it nearly shocked her half to death when two arms wrapped around her from behind. She spun around fast, nearly knocking the other person in the head. When she saw that it was Rachel she immediately felt safe, she smiled at the brunette asking gently, "What are you doing?"

"I came to help you relax…", a smiling Rachel replied.

"And giving me a heart attack is helping how exactly?", she joked back.

"Well, that wasn’t my goal actually…" she said blushing feeling rather embarrassed, "I thought a hug would help calm you down and I came to wish you good luck, not that you really need it. You’re going to blow Coach Sylvester away with your skills."

Quinn’s smile grew wider due to the sincerity in Rachel’s words, she just wished she could feel equally confident but that wasn’t the case.

"I mean it, Quinn. And Coach Sylvester knows it too, do you know how many other people are personally invited by the great Sue Sylvester to try out?" she paused looking Quinn intently in the eye, "Not a single one! That has to count for something hasn’t it? And I think you’re great as well and I would never encourage anyone not even the people I love the most to do something when I don’t believe in them or when they just don’t have the talent. I don’t see what good it would do to lie to someone."

Rachel’s previous words might not have helped much, but the latter made actual sense. Quinn knew she meant every single word, Rachel wasn’t the kind of person to give false hope, she just couldn’t. She felt like kissing the smaller girl, she was that thankful for what she had just done. With renewed courage she hugged Rachel intensely before placing a soft kiss on her cheek.

She leant closer to her ear whispering, "Thank you for everything." Then pulled away and entered the gymnasium, it was time!

XOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOX

All the chosen cheerleaders, only a handful of new girls, were listening to the most important speech in a cheerleader’s career.

"Ladies, as of today you are all Cheerios. I see some of you smiling, well remember the sentiment because I want to see it whenever we are competing, I don’t care how much pain you’re in or how tired you are. If I do not see it, I kick you off the team! Remember also that none of you are irreplaceable; at least 10 girls are waiting for the chance to take your spot. From this day forward your hair will be pulled in a tight ponytail, I will not stand any distraction of your perfection when in front of a jury, they have to see your talent not your hair. Tomorrow all of you will wear the Cheerio uniform with pride and you will honor it, cherish it! When in this uniform I will not have you consorting with the misfits at this school, they are all beneath you. People have to look up to you, envy you and they have to be reminded every single day of their miserable lives that they just don’t have what it takes, that they are either too fat, too ugly or too weird to be part of our special group. I do not care what your religion is; from now on I am your GOD! What I say is law! I hate secrets; if there is something wrong you WILL confide in me and ask for MY approval."

Coach Sylvester paused briefly checking they were still paying attention when she was satisfied they were she continued, "Now about your love lives, a Cheerio can date any boy from whatever sports team, as long as he is an athletic jock he is okay. But I will not allow my cheerleaders to flaunt their love in front of everyone, keep it dignified. Now the most important rule NEVER EVER disgrace the uniform, ladies! I want my Cheerios fit and trim, they also have to excel at school or at least pretend to be excelling, never miss a lesson except when I require your presence. That’s it, now hit the showers!"

None of the girls needed a shower because they hadn’t done anything other than their tryout routine and for some of them that had been hours ago, nevertheless every one of them ran to the showers. No one had the guts to correct Coach Sylvester. They were all just happy to be a cheerleader, there wasn’t a greater honor.

XOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOX

While Quinn had been busy with her tryout and listening to her new coach, Rachel had been doing her own “tryout” be it of a different kind. She had sung in the auditorium in front of Mr. Ryerson in an attempt to become the new star of Glee club. Mr. Ryerson had clearly noted her talent but wasn’t entirely sure she got what it took, therefore remaining indecisive until further notice.

This had hurt Rachel; she had been obsessed with singing and dancing since she was born. She had competed in numerous singing (and dancing) competitions and had won several prices but still this didn’t convince Mr. Ryerson. He’d said something was missing but couldn’t really put his finger on what just yet. Rachel, however hurt, wasn’t a quitter, she had left the stage with her head held high and had decided she would sing whenever he was in hearing distance to convince him she was Glee material.

She didn’t really like him, he was kind of a creep but being in Glee club would put her on her way to become a Broadway star, her lifelong dream. She needed to perform, she needed applause, and she needed to be adored. She was already posting videos of herself performing songs on her Myspace account hoping someone meaningful would watch her and contact her to get her out of Lima and into New York. But that hadn’t happened yet…

It was lunchtime, she was supposed to meet Quinn, Brittany and Santana in the cafeteria so without wasting any more time she went to her locker grabbed her books for the afternoon and waited in line for her lunch. She hadn’t seen any of her friends since this morning; she wanted to know if Brittany and Santana had been lucky enough to be selected as well. Although she hadn’t spoken to Quinn, she just knew the blonde had what it took.

With her lunch tray in hand she glanced around the cafeteria either to spot an empty seat or the girls. They were sitting at a small table already, which Rachel was glad for because this meant she didn’t have to find a seat. Smiling she went over to the table and seated herself next to Quinn.

"Hi, are you all Cheerios?", she asked happily.

"You betcha!" answered Santana making Rachel beam proudly at all of them.

"Told you, you would get in." she said to Quinn, who blushed slightly when she remembered Rachel’s methods of handling her nervousness.

"Yeah you did. How was your audition?"

"Not that good, Mr. Ryerson wasn’t sure I have what it takes… he was going to contact me when he’s made a decision."

"What?! That’s outrageous!"

To Rachel’s surprise it wasn’t Quinn but Santana who said this, "Clearly the man is deaf! You are probably the most talented singer in Lima!"

"Thank you, Santana." Rachel blushed.

"She’s right, you are." Quinn added and the blushing intensified.

Changing the topic, hoping the blush would evaporate, Rachel asked, "So, where are your uniforms?"

Quinn explained they received them the next day and were supposed to wear them every single day from then on.

"Well, I wouldn’t mind seeing you in one of those skimpy skirts every day of the week. I don’t think I could ever get tired of that!" Rachel said making affectionate eye contact with Quinn. The comment was out before she could help herself, but she didn’t care because it was true. She knew Quinn would look awesome in a Cheerio outfit, have you seen her body…

Quinn’s entire body flushed fervently and she returned Rachel’s affectionate stare with one of her own. The girls were so lost in each other’s eyes they forgot where they were or the fact they weren’t alone. Quinn wanted to kiss the living daylight out of Rachel for making her feel like the most beautiful person in the world. Although she was what people considered pretty she was rather self-conscious but Rachel’s comment sounded so earnestly she really believed it. She had to fight her bodily reactions with every ounce of self-discipline to not capture those full lips with her own.

Santana saw Quinn was losing her internal battle and decided to help her out before she could do something she would regret for the rest of her life. "Um, seeing how I am witnessing the eye sex you two are having _right in front of me_ it’s only fair I get to be godmother when the babies are due."

Sex and babies in one sentence was enough to bring Quinn back to earth to glare at Santana but at the same moment being immensely grateful for what she’d just done. When Quinn looked back at Rachel she saw the brunette was sending her own kind of evil glare at Santana; being not at all happy with how she had just ruined their moment. _Damn, she’s as much into me as I am into her! This cannot be happening…_

With a rapid excuse, no one at the table really understood, Quinn got up and left the cafeteria. The remaining girls shared some confused looks before returning to their lunches while discussing how it felt to be back at school and so on until Rachel’s buzzing cell got her attention. She glanced at it briefly before excusing herself as well and getting away from everyone as fast as she could without making a fool of herself or drawing too much attention. She just had to be alone, when she had barricaded herself in an abandoned janitor’s closet she read the text again with silent tears falling down her cheeks.

Q- ** _I cannot do this… I’m sorry._**


	8. Innocent Lie

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> To make up for my lack of updates, here's another one...

Immediately after sending the text Quinn was regretting it, but it was too late she couldn’t undo it. _Damn it!_ She normally didn’t curse, however now it felt right to do so. She thought of the brunette’s reaction to the text and let herself sink to the floor. Her legs unexpectedly weren’t strong enough to support her anymore, luckily she thought to herself she was locked safely in a bathroom stall otherwise people could walk in on her in this vulnerable state.

The vision of a broken Rachel hurt her beyond words, she couldn’t handle it but she had to. She had to break the girl in order to keep her safe, strange logic some would think but not as Quinn saw it. It was a fact that Rachel and she had gotten very close, somehow she had developed more than friendly feelings for the smaller girl. Feelings girls couldn’t have for other girls, Quinn knew she could easily repress those feelings because if her parents had taught her one thing it was to repress unwanted feelings, at least to the public eye.

Rachel on the other hand was raised by two gay men, of course she thought those feelings were natural, she didn’t know different. Not that that was wrong or anything but Quinn just knew she would _never_ be able to act on her ‘unnatural’ feelings, it would be the end of her parents and she simply respected them too much. But Rachel wouldn’t understand, eventually she would want them to be more than ‘just friends’ and Quinn wouldn’t be able to resist her. At least not in the privacy of a bedroom or any other room where it was just the two of them…

But how could she expect a wonderful, dramatic and loving girl like Rachel Berry to settle for this, it wouldn’t be fair. She cared too much about her to make her ‘her secret’, not to mention the brunette wore her heart on her sleeve it would be too difficult. It would hurt her to see Rachel having to lie to everyone about the true nature of their relationship. _Why am I thinking all of this? I didn’t even talk with her or ask her how she felt; I don’t even know if she’s interested in a relationship with me… maybe she only has intense friendship feelings for me._

She was back to berating herself for overreacting and texting too soon - something she couldn’t take back. Maybe she should have waited, maybe they should have talked about it, maybe… there were so many maybes. Silent tears were rolling down her cheeks; however Quinn made a very important decision: she had to keep Rachel away from her; she had to hurt her a little so as never to hurt her a lot. _Does this even make sense? Well, it’s the only thing I can think of. It’s the right thing to do…_

She wiped the tears away angrily, got up from the floor with renewed confidence and exited the stall. She washed the tears from her eyes and face and left, lunch was almost over anyway.

XOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOX

She didn’t see Rachel anymore that afternoon and wondered if the diva was avoiding her or if she had unconsciously avoided the brunette or if it was plain luck they hadn’t encountered one another… whatever the reason Quinn was glad she wasn’t forced to deal with what she had caused. Of course she wasn’t lucky enough to avoid - or be avoided by – Santana.

"Q, wait up!" She heard behind her when she was trying to make an unhindered exit towards the parking lot. She reluctantly stopped in her tracks and turned around slowly to face Santana.

"What up?", she asked coolly.

"What’s up with me?" Santana replied incredulously, "What’s up with you and Berry, you mean?"

"Nothing’s up, Santana…" Quinn trailed off letting out a deep sigh, she didn’t really know how to continue or how to explain what was happening.

"Sure, nothing’s up how could I be so wrong…" came the sarcastic retort accompanied by a roll of the eyes, "first the two of you were having, inappropriate might I add, eye sex in public, then you leave as if your pants is on fire and you are in desperate need of water to put the fire out, no pun intended by the way. Then only a couple of minutes later Rachel runs out as quickly as you did… When I pass her in the hallway on my way to Geography she doesn’t acknowledge me, just keeps her head down but of course my eagle eye vision spotted her puffy eyes and hurt expression although she was trying to hide this from me. What am I supposed to think of all that? Because that sure as hell doesn’t sound like nothing to me."

Quinn was momentarily torn between scolding Santana for her language, tell her the truth or just ignore everything and walk away. Impatient Santana however wasn’t waiting for Quinn to make up her mind and demanded an explanation. Quinn just stood there, clearly infuriating the Latina.

"Fine." was all she said before pushing past Quinn and getting out of the building to go home. This action snapped Quinn into motion, because she couldn’t deal with this alone.

"S wait… Santana! Please!" she begged her friend to turn around which she did, nonetheless she didn’t walk back to her she just stood there waiting for Quinn to make her way over. "You’re right something is wrong. I have to tell you something but you can never tell anyone, promise?"

Quinn didn’t continue until Santana literally promised to never tell a living soul. "I think Rachel’s falling in love with me… and you remember how coach told us we couldn’t date people that weren’t on an athletic team. It’s our first year as cheerleaders I don’t want people thinking we’re an item, because Berry is fangirling all over me. You know how clingy she gets sometimes…" Quinn took a breath so she was able to study the other girl’s facial reactions, somehow she had to convince Santana a little more, she wasn’t buying it. _Maybe because you are trying to convince yourself as well?_

"Anyway, I decided to not hang out with her anymore. I told her to stay away from me. I think it’s best for both of us, look at us we are complete opposites, she doesn’t even want to be popular… at least she doesn’t care about it here in high school, she’s focusing all her energy and talent on becoming a big Broadway star and that’s fine. But when we are in uniform tomorrow how would it look if we had a freak like Berry following us everywhere?"

Santana’s eyes narrowed slightly, making it very hard to read them. Quinn only hoped she believed her, hoped she was convincing enough. She waited for a response of any kind and sure enough it came. "Q, who are you kidding here? Ever since you met the girl the two of you are inseparable, now you’re telling me that you doubt a friendship would work out, even more you think she will hurt our reputation. Come on, the girl is practically one of the invisibles… people won’t even notice she’s hanging out with us. Unless one of us would start dating her, but that seems a bit unlikely don’t ya think?" It was a rhetorical question so Quinn didn’t bother to answer her. Santana continued, "So what is really the problem?"

The fact that Santana didn’t believe her was unnerving Quinn, she couldn’t tell her the truth. She knew she wouldn’t be judged for her feelings, at least not by Santana but telling someone about them made them real and Santana would surely judge her for the plan of keeping Rachel at a distance. How could she convince Santana? Well, maybe she didn’t have to; maybe she just had to tell her… "Look S, I don’t care what you make of it, this is how I see it and I’m not comfortable with it, okay? So, as of today we will no longer socialize with one Rachel Berry, as of tomorrow she’s as invisible to us as she is to most of the school. That means Rachel is invisible to Brittany as well."

The expression on Santana’s face was clearly readable this time, it was one of fury - and dare she say it - hate. "You cannot ask me this! Tell me you are joking?" But there came no answer, "You are seriously asking me to tell Britt that she can’t be friends with Rachel anymore?"

Quinn nodded faintly.

"I hate you, Q!" And with that Santana turned on her heels and walked away from Quinn.

_Well, it’s lonely at the top…_

 


	9. Being on Top

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: Again I have to apologize for the time between the updates but I lacked time to update my story I'm sorry. For those of you that don't know I have been doing a little side project by helping out a friend who posted her first SQ story and it's really good! After reading my update you should really check out 'Going for the Gold' by Nascar3l ;-)

Quinn didn’t hear from Santana for the rest of the week, which was no real surprise. She knew she was asking a lot from her and she knew asking Santana to deliberately hurt Brittany was maybe a bit over the top but she had no choice. If Santana or Brittany or both would continue to hang out with Rachel, she would be forced to hang out with her as well. More so, Rachel would kind of expect to hang out with Quinn too, thinking they could still be friends.

Quinn hadn’t heard from Rachel either which _was_ surprising actually, she had anticipated at least some text demanding an explanation or a phone call with the same goal, but nothing. They had a couple of classes together but even there Rachel just kept to herself not even exchanging eye contact with the cheerleader.

Cheerleader… it was a dream come true. Her mother had immediately thrown a party to celebrate this important event in her daughter’s life. It almost felt to Quinn as if she were getting married, that was how proud Judy was and how profoundly she had celebrated this event. The party was enormous, hundreds of people were invited, Quinn was praised and toasted all night, making her feel special – to her parents – for the first time actually.

She still practiced hard every day to outshine every other cheerleader on the squad, because her next goal was to become Head Cheerio. Imagine how much prouder her mother would be… Also the fact the head cheerleader had ultimate power in high school was very appealing. Santana could stay mad at her for the rest of their lives but she wouldn’t be able to ignore her superior. Everything would be perfect, at least almost everything…

Because behind this new hard exterior was a hurt and broken girl that missed her best friend and could-be-girlfriend. However, weak people didn’t get anything in life but misery and a Fabray could never be weak, a Fabray could never be a nobody. She had no choice, maybe if she had been born in a different family things would have been different but that wasn’t the case, it didn’t help – and was kind of silly - to dwell on such things.

The school year was only two weeks old but Quinn had already handed in every task and paper they had been given. Not one earning less than A+, she was very proud of herself and well on her way to reach her goal. Coach Sylvester had taken a special interest in her, due to her physical and academic skills. She had ensured her that if she kept this up long enough the position of Head Cheerio would be open for her.

Quinn still wrote in her journal, she had to tell someone what was going on inside her, someone that wouldn’t criticize her or disapprove of all her choices. Someone that could keep a secret without having to ask them. Santana used to be that person, but even Santana didn’t know everything Quinn was going through, simply because Santana wasn’t much of a talker. Especially not about sappy things and according to Santana feelings were sappy. _That girl was tough as nails._

Her journal was her new best friend, which was kind of sad really.

XOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOX

**_Party @ Puck’s this Saturday! Be there!_ **

Quinn looked at the number the text was sent from, it was Puck’s. She remembered his previous party and although she hadn’t had a blast, it hadn’t been too bad either. Besides she was a cheerleader now and he was on the football team it was only natural for her to attend. She wondered if Santana and Brittany would be going, it had been three weeks now without a word from either girl.

**_Are u going to the party? – Q_ **

After ten minutes came the reply **_Of course we are. Are you? – B_**

The text was from Brittany although it had been sent with Santana’s cell. Quinn didn’t think too much of it, probably Santana was still pissed at her and Brittany had begged her to reply. Santana really couldn’t deny the girl anything.

Q- ** _Sure, should we go together?_**

S- **_I’d love to and S would also like that although she’s still a bit mad at you._**

Q- **_Tell her I’m sorry._**

S- **_I will._**

Q- **_Meet you at Santana’s place at 8?_**

S- **_Make it 8.30 she says_** ** _:-)_**

Q- **_OK. Bye XO_**

S- **_Bye XXXXXXOOOOOO I MISS YOU!! (Santana does too but she won’t admit it)_**

Quinn smiled at that, Brittany was always too honest. Quinn missed both of them as well, she had to make it up to Santana, she didn’t really know how but she had to figure it out and quick before it was too late.

XOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOX

It was Friday, only one more day before the big party…

"Can I talk to you?" It was more a statement than a question and before the cheerleader could respond she was being dragged into the toilets by a certain tiny brunette. Quinn was grateful Rachel at least had the courtesy to choose a moment of peacefulness in the hallways because a cheerleader being forced to go somewhere – without her consent – by a little nobody would not do well for one’s reputation.

The moment they were inside Quinn pulled her arm out of Rachel’s firm grasp. "Do you mind?!" she snapped harshly at the other girl.

"Oh come on, _you_ have the audacity to give _me_ a hard time, seriously?" Rachel responded equally harsh. Quinn looked down at her shoes repentantly remaining silent so Rachel continued, "I didn’t think so… Now, the reason why I brought you here is for us to have a little chat whether you like it or not. You owe me at least an explanation."

"I don’t think I do actually." Quinn’s new persona the HBIC took over. "I mean what do you want me to explain?"

Rachel didn’t back down, she wasn’t impressed by the new Quinn at all. "Maybe the fact why you sent me that pathetic excuse of a text without further clarification and then ignore me and maybe why you asked Santana and Brittany to ignore me also…"

"Rachel, _we_ are cheerleaders now, it’s different. We are above you, we can’t be seen hanging out with little miss nobodies such as yourself." Something resembling a dry laugh escaped Quinn’s mouth. _Why can’t she just take a hint and leave it alone?_

"The day you became a cheerleader I had lunch with you, I was the same nobody as I am now, only 3 weeks later. Do you seriously want me to believe that’s it… I don’t get you, Quinn I really don’t… I thought I knew you, apparently I was wrong."

"You know _nothing_ about me!" Quinn spat with venom laced in her voice. "And that’s the whole point isn’t it, you and me we move in different social circles, this was never meant to be."

Quinn gave Rachel a chance to reply but the girl wasn’t even looking at her. _Good, I hope she gets it now._ A triumphant smirk appeared on her face, but she didn’t feel triumphant at all, in fact when she took in the other girl’s tear filled eyes she felt like crap, nonetheless the smirk was planted firmly on her features.

"I can’t believe I was so wrong about you…" Rachel’s voice was barely above a whisper, it even cracked a little. One of the tears broke free and rolled down her cheek. "You can go now; Santana’s right… talking is overrated." She sniffed angrily.

Quinn almost reached out to the fragile person in front of her, almost pulled her into a hug, she wanted to make everything right but she was a coward. She couldn’t… controlling her body with sheer willpower, she moved away from Rachel and exited without looking back.

_Thank god for Puck’s party, I am in serious need of something to alleviate me._

XOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOX

8.28 read the clock on her mother’s dashboard; she kissed her mother on the cheek before grabbing her overnight bag and getting out of the car. "Be good." her mother called after her.

"‘I will." She called back and gave her mother a reassuring smile, before turning with lead in her shoes and a heavy heart towards Santana’s front door. While she rang the doorbell she let out a deep sigh hoping everything would turn out alright.

Within a minute she was greeted by a smiling and bouncing Brittany who immediately pulled her into a hug before dragging her through the house until they reached Santana’s bedroom.

Santana was getting ready in front of her mirror, deciding what to wear. "The white tank top or the red blouse?" she asked without acknowledging the blonde.

"You look hot in both." Quinn replied smiling.

"True, but still I can’t wear both so which one?"

"The white one then." Quinn said, judging from Brittany’s look she had made the right choice.

"What will you be wearing anyway, or are you going dressed in that." She said pointing up and down Quinn’s body, "What is that anyway? Your Sunday dress for church?" Santana gave her a shrewd glance.

"Of course I’m not going to wear this, but how else would my parents believe you were having a sleepover party, girls only?" Quinn rolled her eyes while opening her bag and taking out the outfit she was really going to wear.

"Well, I guess it _is_ pretty convincing." Santana noted giving Quinn a smile. And just like that they were on speaking terms again. Brittany, who was observing her two friends, was now clapping her hands joyfully because she saw everything would be okay. She couldn’t help herself and made her way over to them, pulling them both into a hug whilst shouting, "Group hug!!"

When the three of them were ready they went over to Puck’s house, which wasn’t that far from Santana’s. They were greeted at the door by Puckfasa himself, "Hello pretty ladies, glad you made it. Welcome to the greatest illegitimate party in Lima!" He put his arms around all three of them and led them into his house where the party was already in full swing.

He gave them the abbreviated tour, just pointing them towards the snacks, the drinks, the game corners and the ones to make out in. Upstairs was off limit at least if they wanted to take other guys up there, because he would be happy to give them a more private tour upstairs. Quinn rolled her eyes at this remark, Santana on the other hand looked like she was contemplating whether to take him up on his offer or not. Brittany was just happy to be there, Quinn even wondered if the girl had heard one word uttered by Puck.

He then introduced them to a number of his team members, "So Santana, Brittany and Quinn meet Mike, Owen, Matt and Finn."

Quinn looked at all four of them but gazed a little longer at Finn, not because he was handsomer than the other three but because he was freakishly tall for a boy his age. However Puck misread this and nudged her softly before whispering in her ear, "You know, he just made starting quarterback that’s why I threw him this party."

Not sure of how to react to that Quinn decided to remain silent. After a bit of small talk with the boys they all headed to the dancing area in Puck’s living room. After an hour of intense dancing Quinn got thirsty and went in search of some drinks, she still chose to not drink alcohol. While walking over to the bar Puck had set up she noticed Finn sitting in a corner watching other people dance. Finding this rather strange she poured him a drink as well and went over to him.

Handing him the drink she started, "So, you don’t dance?"

"No, not really. I’m not much of a dancer, so I figure it’s much safer if I stay away from all of it and just enjoy watching them." He took the drink from her, silently thanking her with his eyes. "Why are you not dancing?"

"Well, I was thirsty. Drinking and dancing at the same time is never a good combo." Finn smiled at that agreeing with her. "I suppose we have to propose a toast to your new role as quarterback.", she said facing him, glass ready to toast.

"Nah, it’s really not that big of a deal…", he answered shyly.

"What?! Are you serious? Being quarterback is a really big deal."

"You think so?", he beamed at her, obviously feeling proud about himself. Quinn found this quite cute, she pegged him for being a real jock like Puck, thinking with a region of his body that wasn’t anywhere near his brains. But Finn seemed to be a more down to earth guy, somewhat goofy although he would soon be one of the most popular boys in school. "Thanks, so do you have a boyfriend?"

When Quinn raised an eyebrow at him he realized what that must have sounded like, so he tried to correct himself. "Not that that’s any of my business of course, it’s not that I want to be your boyfriend or anything. Damn that came out wrong… um let me try again. I was just trying to have some small talk, just… you know? And I wouldn’t mind being your boyfriend of course, you seem like a nice girl and you’re beautiful." The tall boy was falling over his words, not really doing a good job of explaining himself.

Quinn started to laugh softly finding his behavior charming, "It’s okay, I do know what you meant and I don’t mind, I was just teasing you…. I don’t have a boyfriend anyway, what about you?"

"I don’t have a boyfriend either." Hearing the laugh this elicited from the cheerleader he tried again, "What I meant to say, no I don’t have a girlfriend. Not that I have anything against gay men, but I am not, you know, gay."

They engaged in some more small talk which went pretty good once Finn got over his flustered state and managed to talk without making a fool of himself. Quinn had a really good time talking to him when the talking died down she went back to her dancing friends only now noticing Santana was no longer there and Brittany was making out with Matt. Quinn wasn’t surprised about this; she knew Brittany liked to make out with everyone.

"Hi Britt, I see you are having a good time."

The other cheerleader stopped what she was doing turned and focused her attention on Quinn, "Yeah, got a bit bored and Santana was gone and you were talking to that tall football player, so I figured I got to do something I think is mucho fun." She said smiling widely.

"Sure, you go girl." Quinn encouraged her winking.

"Do you maybe want to make out?" It was a genuine question and the boys close enough to overhear their conversation were instantly very interested.

"No, I’m fine but thanks for the offer." Quinn disappointed all of them but she didn’t care, she wasn’t going to make a spectacle out of herself for their entertainment.

"I have an idea!" One of the onlookers shouted, "SPIN THE BOTTLE!"

And before Quinn could go anywhere she was being guided by an enthused group towards an area where they would be able to sit on the floor comfortably. On their way there some football player grabbed Finn; the boy also had no choice but to follow.

When they were all seated Santana and Puck emerged from somewhere and joined them. The bottle spun and spun and spun and Quinn had seen more people making out in front of her than she had ever witnessed before but so far she had been lucky enough to be out in the clear. Santana, Puck and Brittany had kissed almost everyone in the circle even each other. Now it was Finn’s turn, he gave her a look which clearly indicated he wanted the bottle to land on her. Alas, it didn’t, it landed on Puck and when Finn refused to kiss him – because it would be too weird, it would feel like kissing his brother or so he claimed – the game ended.

Santana, Brittany and Quinn said their goodbyes not long after and exhaustedly made their way over to Santana’s.

XOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOX

It had been two weeks since the party and the girls and the football players were becoming really good friends, having lunch together almost every day ever since. Matt and Mike turned out to be pretty funny guys always pranking their new friends. Finn and Puck seemed to be best friends, always ranting about videogames and who was the better gamer.

The cheerleaders had a good time, Santana and Puck were sorta dating Quinn had noticed and although she wasn’t sure if they were dating or just having sex, they were sitting closer together either way, sometimes spent the entire lunch time whispering in each other’s ears and laughing at some private jokes.

Quinn was happy that Santana was happy, even though she had never foreseen Santana actually dating guys like Puck or any guy for that matter. Having sex with them... okay. Because Santana was perfectly capable of separating sex and emotions, only attractiveness counted in her book. And sexual attraction wasn’t reserved for couples. Brittany didn’t seem to mind either, which was strange for Quinn she would have been slicing Puck’s throat by now if he was all over her girlfriend like that. _My girlfriend? My mind has a mind of its own, if you ask me… my girlfriend? Ridiculous!_

As if the universe was trying to tell her something a brunette appeared in her peripheral view, Quinn excused herself from the group and went in search of Rachel. She caught up with her just as she was about to ascend the bleachers to enjoy some quiet afternoon time in the sun, Quinn believed, because she couldn’t think of another reason why people were choosing to sit out here all by themselves.

"Hey, wait up!" She called after her, Rachel didn’t turn or look at her and just continued to make her way up the bleachers, forcing Quinn to follow her up there. When Quinn reached her she said, "Are you stalking me now?"

"I don’t know what’s that even supposed to mean Quinn, so please enlighten me." She replied calmly, "Besides aren’t you the one that followed me here, if I remember correctly I didn’t invite you or anything."

"No but you…" _What, idiot?! Are you going to admit you were thinking about the word girlfriend and just happened to see her? What would she make of that… doesn’t sound stalkerish at all!_ "you were staring at us in the cafeteria."

Rachel looked at her as if she had gone mad, one of her eyebrows raised in clear disbelief. "I beg your pardon? I _did not_ do such a thing. You do realize the cafeteria is common ground, everyone, even us losers, can go there, or are you and the jock team going to have everyone banned except yourselves?"

Quinn was stunned into silence, Rachel had a point actually but she would rather die than admit that of course. "No," she simply said dragging the word out buying herself some thinking time.

According to Rachel it took too long, "But I don’t mind you’re here. Maybe we can try to talk once more… seeing how you didn’t clarify anything last time, who knows you might actually be able to come up with a plausible reason this time."

Quinn was appalled and amazed at Rachel’s boldness, however this didn’t help, she had hoped that Rachel would just leave her alone and stop badgering her about their nonexistent friendship. "I don’t get it, what do you want? I already told you why we can’t be friends, what more can I do?"

"You could stop with the BS and really talk to me!" Rachel sounded pissed.

"No, I can’t and I won’t!"

"Why, Quinn? What is so wrong with me you won’t even talk to me?", the anger made room for sadness.

"Stop it, Rachel!" Quinn warned, not entirely sure what Rachel had to stop, but she knew she was only seconds away from caving in and she couldn’t. "If you consider yourself a friend than you would leave it alone, you would just accept the fact that I don’t want to be friends with you anymore and move on with your life." She tried begging, she knew if she spoke to the brunette’s emotions they might actually get somewhere.

Rachel swallowed audibly, she obviously was trying hard not to break down crying and Quinn respected that about her. It showed just how strong Rachel really was… when she finally opened her mouth, her voice didn’t sound weak or broken, it sounded confident. "Okay, I don’t understand what’s going on but I respect you and I respect your decision… I won’t be bothering you again. But I still go to this school, so our paths are bound to cross at some point and when they do I don’t want to be bothered about it, it’s just _chance_ and not my fault. So don’t come searching for me to put me in my place. If you promise to do this, then I promise you I will never talk or look at you or trouble you again."

Quinn nodded, but that wasn’t enough for Rachel. "Promise me, Quinn.’

"I… promise." She said softly, almost inaudible but Rachel had heard her. And without uttering another word or giving her another glance she left Quinn standing on the bleachers. The moment she heard Rachel descending the stairs she grabbed her chest because it felt as if someone had just ripped out her heart. It became difficult to breathe, it hurt to think and for a short fraction of time Quinn thought her legs were going to give out on her but they didn’t. The pain was excruciating, but she deserved all of it, this was her own doing and no one else’s. No tears were shed, that wouldn’t have been right and when the pain lessened she made her way back into school and went on with her day as if nothing had changed.

But everything had changed and she decided not to do anything about it.

XOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOX

Most of their freshmen year had gone by without anything exciting happening, somehow she had mastered ignoring Rachel Berry to the extent where the girl was actually invisible to her. Since that conversation on the bleachers – now just a distant memory to Quinn – she hadn’t seen Rachel anywhere, making her wonder from time to time whether the girl had transferred.

It was the last week of school when Quinn was anxiously waiting for coach Sylvester to tell her why she had been called into her office. A worst case scenario was already forming in her head, what else could it be, somehow she had screwed up, her excellent grades and perfect form notwithstanding. She shifted nervously in her chair earning Sue Sylvester’s attention.

"Are you nervous?" she asked calmly.

"Yes, please tell me right away what I did wrong." Quinn demanded politely.

This earned her a laugh from her normally sober coach, "Something wrong…" she repeated. "Quite the contrary, I have some pretty fine news actually." Sue paused briefly, "As you might know my Head Cheerio is graduating so I’m offering her position to you."

"Really?" Quinn was overjoyed. "That’s… that’s… Wow, thank you I will be glad to take the position and excel at it."

"Oh, I’m sure you would that’s why I picked you." She smiled at Quinn, a real genuine smile which was rare so Quinn felt very special. "But Q, I have to warn you if you so much as think of disappointing me I will give the position to someone else, do we understand each other?"

"I understand perfectly fine." The smile on Quinn’s face would remain there for several days.

"You may go now, enjoy your summer break but don’t forget to train. Hard!"

"I won’t, goodbye coach I will see you next school year!" Quinn said enthusiastically before leaving to find Santana and Brittany to tell them the good news. This was so exciting!!

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for reading, I still enjoy comments so you can give me your opinion any time ;-)


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